It can feel like a real risk to be who we are.
If we share the less wonderful parts of our personality with people, there is always a fear that they will reject us—that they’ll stop wanting to spend time with us, or that they’ll judge us.
Sometimes it can even feel risky to be honest about our good qualities. Instead of being proud of being a creative person, or a good decorator, we pretend instead that we’re terrible. We might feel shy about ‘boasting,’ or we might think that people will disagree with us and put us down.
Really being ‘who we are’ is the only place to start. When we can be honest with ourselves, it becomes possible to change for the better. We know where we’re starting from, and we don’t have to use up any energy hiding the truth from ourselves.
Here’s some suggestions that may help you become more honest about who you really are, a first step towards becoming a better person, a new and improved you.
A good start would be acknowledging the little fibs you tell yourself and other people about yourself. (Or the lack there of) You might notice that you boast about something that you have passion for but when asked to help someone do just that you find yourself running to the nearest exit. You avoid the offer, or you might retract and fib about your good qualities, protesting that you’re not really that good at styling even though everybody raves about how you put things together from your outfits to your house.
Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed take it one step at a time. You don’t have to confess everything to the whole world. Begin gently, by telling someone close to you that you’re worried about how others may reject the things that are dear to your heart. For instance how you decorated your house or some of your writings. Let it be known that the fear of disapproval bothers you more than you’re willing to admit. You’re fear of rejection keeps you from doing the things you truly want to do. Once you’ve told one person how you feel it’s easier to stay honest with yourself, to break free from the fear.
We know it’s braver and more respected to own up and admit when there’s something wrong than to pretend there’s not. Nobody is perfect. It’ll also make you feel much better a sort of weight-lifted feeling. Everyone has some sort of insecurity and friends will more likely trust you more by being vulnerable and making it known. We like it when people are honest with us, even if we wish things to be different. That’s what True Friends do, they Love you with all of your imperfections.
Remember that trying to hide something doesn’t mean other people don’t see it. Those closest to you should be able to read you. They will more than likely see what is behind everything you say or do that isn’t quite right, even if you thought it sounded pretty convincing. Why exhaust yourself trying to be seen a certain way when it’s often fruitless? It’s time to be honest with you and shed the mask of insecurity. Start living the life you love and love the life you live.
Don’t beat yourself up. We all make mistakes all the time, and get things wrong. We’re all human. Be kind to yourself. If you find this difficult, imagine that you are your own best friend. What would you say to your best friend if they were in your situation? Living honestly and in the moment is truly living not just existing.
Keep practicing. You could spend a few minutes every evening reflecting on how well you’ve managed to be yourself during the day. It would also be therapeutic starting a journal. You could explore this step by step and see your daily progress to the new improved You!
Giving ourselves permission to be what we are is a huge relief. Try it and see, you might be pleasantly surprised!
"Be strong
Don't give up hope
It will get hard
Cause life's like a jump rope...
You have to hold your head up high and
Watch all the negative go by
Don't you ever be ashamed to cry
You go ahead
Cuz life's like a jump rope"
Blue October
