That Which Were My Insecurities are now my Inspirations

I was a kid who wanted to be beautiful, but more desperately wanted to feel loved. My self-esteem increased through the years, but I never quite shook the sneaking suspicion I’d ever be beautiful enough, or even lovable enough.

It would be easy to blame it all on society and the Kate Moss/Victoria Secret era of modeling, but I think it’s more than that. I just never learned to notice and appreciate all the beautiful things about myself. The stuff that has nothing to do with my waistline, height, skin tone or the shmiiiize in my eyes (as Tyra Banks would say) and everything to do with who I am.

I never learned to give myself credit for any of the good I did. I was too busy focusing on my weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws to recognize it.

It seems like such a cliché to say pretty is as pretty does, but the truth is physical beauty is subjective. And no matter how closely someone matches your ideal of physical perfection that will eventually fade. What endure are the qualities, passions, and habits we nurture.

That’s what makes us beautiful. Believe me when I say there is something beautiful in everyone. If you’ve done any of the following lately, you are absolutely beautiful:

Smile. As the quote goes, “I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.”

Be there for someone who needs you

Give someone an Uncontrollably long hug just because

Admit a mistake, even if it’s hard to say you’re wrong, and work to make amends.

Make a sacrifice for someone you love.

Forgive someone without needing to hear the words, “I’m sorry.”

Make someone laugh. A smile can literally melt stress and pain away. How beautiful of you to do that for someone else! Never underestimate the power of touching someone’s heart.

Take the high road when someone hurts you instead if being cruel or catty.

Measure a person by their best moments, not their worst.

Give yourself the same courtesy–focus on the good you’ve done, not the mistakes you’ve made.

Find strength in a challenging moment. It’s not easy to do, and you deserve credit for it.

Acknowledge the beauty in others, instead of feeling threatened, jealous or competitive.

Keep an open mind instead of sticking with a judgment or assumption.

Accept and love yourself–“Learn to live with what you are.”

Be the voice of optimism when the people around you need it badly

Hear what someone means, not just what they say. Anyone can nitpick. Not everyone actively works to be understanding.

 Honor the values that matter to you. Showing integrity is the first step to feeling good about yourself.

Treat people like you want to be treated.

Accept someone for who they are instead of trying to change them to who you want them to be.

Help a child feel good about him or herself.

Create something that helps people. A song, a blog, a support group anything that inspires.

Think positive thoughts and act with positive intentions.

Tell someone what you appreciate about them

There will be days when you may never be able to do any of the things I’ve listed above-in fact you might do the opposite. Even on those days you are still beautiful.

There are times when I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Times when it seems like I might get swept into the tornado of chaos around me. There are times when the voice in my head is unkind, and I interpret everything that happens through a negative filter. When I think the worst of people and complain about it; when I expect the worst of my day and mourn it.

Me admitting this might seem like the biggest possible acknowledgment of hypocrisy, but all I can do or will do is be honest. And the reality is I’m imperfect, I’m flawed. We all are. We all have moments of weakness-but they’ll only define us if they far surpass the moments of kindness, compassion, love and strength.

Being beautiful doesn’t mean sticking to some picture-perfect fantasy, or living every moment that way. It means realizing this moment is a new opportunity to be who you want to be, and making the effort to seize it.

 I'm working very hard to take the positive route and overlook all that I've been dealt.  This year i have vowed for it to be my year of Reckoning, accepting that which is in me that is good, inspirational, loving and above all else focusing on all that "I AM", not that which I am NOT!

I hope that the things I write here can become some kind of Inspiration to at least One person even if you don’t follow me I hope you can take the time to read.  I know that I have been helped through reading other peoples blogs. If you stop by I just want to thank you ahead for your time .

 ...<3 God ...<3 Life ...<3 Fashn...<3 Fun

My life is Challenging...I'm Trusting the Path God put me On.

My life right now feels like the weather forecast for NYC.  I'm trying so hard just to get that one foot in front of the other, but there's some days where it just isn't feasible.  I say it's not feasible but the POSITIVE  person in me still manages to do so!!! I just can't seem to figure out why it is that I'm still living sometimes, how the HEll is my heart still going? The lack of its proper function for 24 years is mystery in itself.   If my reason for being here still is to be this example to others that's great I just would like to have the feeling of "accomplishment" someday.  I just want one day, that's all I ask for is ONE day where I can do something I've always wished for and do my BEST knowing that I accomplished that goal I had always set out to do. Even if that day Never comes, I still put a smile on my face and ...carry on!

Jammies & a Smile!

As I've heard it said, "Being challenged in life is inevitable, being discouraged in life is optional!"  It's up to us to choose the right road. When a person has bad health such as I do I have to admit I do get discouraged at times and mourn the life I never got to experience. I just need to always remember never to allow it to dictate my life. I know God will not give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much.  

 I absolutely love the post that Loren Ridinger did on her blog today; it is "Trusting the path we’re on. There are a million paths we choose throughout life."  Loren is definitely my new Favorite Inspirational Woman!  She is incredibly talented, successful and a Great example on how to be a Strong Woman in todays world. You Go Girl!  I have to also give a shout out to Loren Ridinger' Fan on Twitter. If you don't follow her tweets you should.

Well I feel better already! Like I call my blog, God4LifeFASHN4therapy I even think my blood pressure may have gone down. That's my cue to go check it, it'd be nice to be able to give a decent BP report at least once today.  And this People out in the Blogosphere, this is Why I Blog, it helps my health! Heck whatever I can do to not have to add anymore pills to the huge amount I already have to take I WILL DO! 

In Loren’s Words… "Take charge of your REALITY"

My Mom is Truly Amazing...EVERYONE Needs to Know

My mother is the modern day Mother Teresa. She’s a Perfect example of how to be Compassionate, Loving & Supportive. She’s Unselfish, Faithful, Funny, Determined and my Inspiration. Oh and you can’t forget Rambunctious! If you looked up WONDER WOMAN it would say ANDREA! I owe everything to her. She has helped me to find good in bad situations and continue to strive for a better life. She was a single mom raising my brother and I, working and going to school; a Great Pillar of Strength. I  was 20 yrs old, independent, modeling & working when I got real sick. I had a stroke paralyzing me, was sent to UCLA for 31days than rehab to learn to walk, talk, read &write. I’ve baffled the Dr’s the last 23yrs. The Stroke was the start of my health demise & any future in Fashion. Life as I knew it was no longer.

I have Lupus SLE, Fibromyalgia, had to have 2major back surgeries (suffering nerve damage) I’m in pain 24/7 and struggle with migraines. I’ve had several major STROKES and TIA’s, I’ve flat-lined & come back…God's not ready for me yet!

 I’m disabled, 44 yrs old now & was finally dx with SNEDDON SYNDROME. I am ALIVE today because the Strength my mom instilled in me. She encourages & helps me to cope DAILY! She’s always believed in me. She’s shown me how to have Faith. She taught me to be + and push thru the pain & obstacles thrown @me. I’ve learned how to, by her examples. She struggles financially and puts her own wants aside & others needs first! She sacrifices her Dreams and Desires so others can have theirs.

She’s been the Stability in my sons life (me being a single mom & in the hospital MOST of his) Taz was a Miracle baby and Dr’s had advised termination, but I felt he was Gods gift to me due to all the circumstances surrounding. People say I’m an Inspiration to them when they hear my story, I can only attribute it to my moms example to me.

 If I could be a speck of the Woman she is I’d be Proud.

Her health isn’t great so she’s retiring @65, if she can manage 3more yrs. She’d love a home of her own & to go on a vacation, etc. but has given to everyone else’ needs neglecting her own future & retirement. I just found out she used her SAVINGS to help my son go to FIDM so he can achieve his Dreams. I can Never repay her! I want the Universe to know How Incredibly Wonderful she is. I want to Introduce to the world my Beautiful Supportive Compassionate Mother.

 If there is anyway anyone out there can help me do so I would be Eternally Grateful. She’s My Inspiration, my Rainbow on a gloomy day. She’s the Sunshine in Everyone’s life. I want her to know she’s made a Huge Difference in the lives of EVERYONE she touches.

She puts Laughter in my heart, a hop in my step and INSPIRES me to be the Very Best Version of ME that I can be. 

Mother, I Love you to Heaven and back...Thank You!

Your Daughter,

Robyn

So here it is...Guess I just gotta Vent, sorry 4Rambling

Well, it’s been awhile!!  It’s the third week of the New Year and things haven’t gone quite as planned, with that being said, I have started the New Year with refreshing positive thoughts and a New Attitude.  I have had some Major set backs lately but refuse to give in to the negativity and the unnecessary added stress and effect it has on me. 
Life with Lupus is not fun!
Life with Fibromyalgia is not fun!
Life with a heart that beats irregular, too hard and too fast ALL the time is not fun (its like constantly running a marathon and not being able to catch your breath)! 
Life with constant pain from back surgery nerve damage, is not fun! 
Life with Constant Migraine Headaches, is not fun! Life with the worry I could have another STROKE and this time not recover as well, is not fun!
….This is My Life with Sneddons Syndrome and It Is Not Fun!

Regardless of how my health may be, I’m Excited to be starting out 2011 with a new Adventure ahead. We’ve been packing and have moved our stuff out of one house into the garage of our New one…Yahoo! It’s Exciting, but I’ve done way too much.

 I wish there were ways that I could take the load off of my Husband.  He has worked so hard building the new house with his own hands & I’m so proud of him. I find myself feeling guilty if I’m not doing something to help, I’ve come to finally understand that it’s not just hurting me if I overdue it, but my husband and family too.

Even though, the house is much smaller (and storage non-existent), I feel it’s a way for us to finally SIMPLIFY our lives.  I find that the so-called, stuff, we manage to accumulate in our lifetime just ends up dragging us down. The More you have the More you want! I have found that having so MUCH when it comes to things makes life much more Chaotic.  When you have too much and not enough space it is CHAOS!

I know that with my health being CHAOTIC in itself, I need to lead a very Stress Free Simplistic life.  I’m hoping that I’ll be able to dive into the wonderful world of Fashion and Decorating through my Elle Decor, House Beautiful, Architectural Digest & of course my Allure & Marie Claire for the next few days while I recuperate.  Right now I’m in need of some lighthearted, positive & uplifting surroundings, so of course that entails the one and ONLY Ellen DeGeneres. Thank goodness I have access to my computer so I can be updated if I’m not home to watch personally. (It sucks not having a DVR anymore) I HATE not being able to watch her regularly, she is so Damn funny and such a Beautiful person, she makes a HUGE different in not just mine but I’m sure a lot of peoples life around the globe. A BIG Thank You goes out to You Ellen and your Beautiful wife Portia.

It’s taken us bits longer than we figured it would so were a bit displaced at the moment. Construction just like most other things don’t always go as planned. I am still very excited and keep my mind focused on the adventures to come for this New Year! I look at it as an Adventure.  I’m praying my health gets better so that when the day comes & we have the funds to furnish I can enjoy the decorating of our house. God has been so good and I’m very fortunate to be Blessed with an Incredibly supportive husband.  I am who I am today due to all the Trials & Tribulations I’ve experienced.  I may have poor health and am not the same beautiful person physically I use to be, but I’m still ME and he loves me for what’s inside. My health issues may slow me down but they do Not define who I am.

…I miss indulging in the Fabulous Fashion World

…I miss traveling

I have my eyes set on a new beginning...

…I know one day My husband and I will get to have our Honeymoon

…I’m ready to get on with this New Fashion Filled Fun and Adventurous Life 2011 has to offer

…I have Faith and Know I’m going to have better days!!!

 ELEVEN~11=(Twin Towers) has Always been my favorite number!! That alone let’s me know it’s gonna be Fantastic, not to mention my attitude and outlook is one to be reckoned with, I’m goin’ All Out Baby!!!!

P.S. thanks to All those who Inspire me Daily

…<3God …<3Fashn …Have Fun …Live Life